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Apr. 22nd, 2011

Even though I doubt they'll ever read this and i would probably die of awkward if they did, I want to post about two of the people most important to me in my life, let alone online.

One of them I don't talk to as much as I'd like, any more, but he helped me come to terms with my gender and sexuality, put up with dating me for over a year, let me talk to him about the things I went through with my mum, made me feel better when I'd been self-harming, and is still a wonderful friend to me even now that we don't talk as much, even with the fact that when we do talk it's normally me texting him because shit has happened and I need somebody to cheer me up.

The other has been my longest fandom friend, she too has sat through my ranting to her about my parents, we've moved through about ten different fandoms while still staying friends, and we RP together basically every single time we can both get online. Which maybe doesn't sound as important as the things about self-harm and whatever, but sometimes her presence and that RP - looking forward to it, plotting it, remembering bits of it, doing it - has been the only thing getting me from day to day. There have been times I've wanted to kill myself, and the only thing that's stopped me has been the voice in the back of my head that says, "nobody knows your passwords to anything. Nobody would even think to tell her, anyway. She'd never know what had happened to you."
It's been two of the longest years of my life since I graduated from college. Since and throughout those years I've lost some friends along the way through worthless drama that didn't need to happen. But I still feel lucky because even so, my apartment mates from the last half of my senior year (along with a few others) and I are still the same group of awesomely ridiculous friends. We put up with so much silly shit from each other that even I'm kind of surprised we survived, but we have, and this is the most amazing thing to me. I treasure it more than anything else in the world and would do anything for these people I call my best friends. You guys are ridiculous in the best way and I love you all for sticking around even though I'm pretty much insane =) This was the corniest thing ever and my friends will never see it but I have a feeling that's exactly what this comm is for! ;-) 

Nice Strangers

Even though these people while probably never read this I just wanted to say two people made me happy today. While it wasn't always this way, it has become the trend to be apathetic or rude to strangers. It also results in typically awful costumer service, but today I had a nice kid get some fish for me out of the fish tank, made a little small talk, and actually treated me like I was a human being not some one who was the bane of their existence. Also, another person didn't didn't give me a dirty look as I struggled to get 85 cents out of my wallet. It was just a nice change for once and I wish I could have said something. Unfortunately I can't say many nice things because in the past it has resulted in people asking me out on a date and I hate to say something nice and then shoot them down. But, yes nice people at work freaking rock and make my day like a 1,000,000 times better than it could have been.

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